Overload: The Struggle is Real

imagesTypically when an electrical power outlet becomes overloaded, it will shutdown. This is a safety feature designed to protect against potential harm.  Most power outlets have a reset button. To get the power outlet back up and running, you simply press the reset button. When life becomes overwhelming, much like an electrical power outlet, I shutdown so that I can reset.  This self-preservation response can get a little tricky when you’re a Pastor’s wife because some will misconstrue this as being anti-social. Because I’m an introvert, I generally do not gravitate towards crowds. I’m most comfortable in smaller settings. Typically in larger crowds, I become an outlier. I can do crowds on occasion but it gets a bit much if it happens often. Also, I’m finding that I need a certain amount of ‘off duty’ time in order to function at my optimum. Otherwise, I will get overloaded and run the risk of harming my Christian witness. For me, shutting down is necessary so that I can reset, refresh and refuel.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that John is the type of person that has to be on every scene; however, he is definitely more comfortable with being around crowds and he doesn’t schedule ‘off duty’ time like I do. It’s a good thing too because, after all, he is a Pastor. There is still SO MUCH for me to learn about being the type of Pastor’s wife that GOD wants me to be for this Pastor. I don’t believe one size fits all. I recognize that being a Pastor’s wife is a special assignment and must be handled with care. It’s weird when people address me as ‘First Lady’ or ‘Elect Lady.’ I’m not really comfortable with the title. I’m not quite sure why. Perhaps it’s because I know I’m just John’s wife.

When I think about Pastor’s wives from back in the day, I think of images of the graceful, spiritual powerhouses that sat in the Amen corner wearing fierce Sunday hats.  I’m so far from that.  There are times when I wish I had a Sister-Pastor Wife to take this journey with. In my perfect world, this person would be the wife of a grassroots Pastor who is a little older, wiser and further along in her assignment as a Pastor’s wife. In the 8 years since being this Pastor’s wife, I have yet to meet another woman travelling a similar journey. I often pray for a divine mentorship.

I struggle with who I am and what HE has called me to be. The struggle is real. I desire to be the best person, wife and Pastor’s wife that I can be – in that order.  I can’t do better than my best.  In that perfect world that I spoke of earlier, I would have successfully reached my level best as a person and wife before focusing my efforts on becoming the best Pastor’s wife. LOL is what I’m sure GOD did at that simplistic plan. Life has not been that orderly for me. But that’s ok. HE knows that I fall short but HE also knows the desire of my heart is to be and do better.

Even though life gets a bit overwhelming at times, I wake up and go to bed each day with a prayer of thanks. I thank HIM for what HE has done, what HE is doing and what HE will do.

FINAL WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT – 1 Thessalonians 5:18  Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Give thanks ESPECIALLY in the struggle.

Be Encouraged! Be Blessed!

  this Pastor’s Wife

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Office: 727-937-0675
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Pastor John F. Crayton Sr.

Cell: 727-366-4168
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