As I mentioned in my first blog, I’m an introvert. Years ago I took the Myer’s Briggs survey. This survey is designed to give insight into your personality. It was a 3-part questionnaire comprised of 93 questions. I took this survey because I didn’t understand this ‘feeling ‘I got when I interacted with certain people. It wasn’t anything I tried to do – it just happened. I’m learning to examine myself first before I quickly decide it’s the other person that has the issue. Here’s the thing, what I have learned is that if you keep experiencing the same thing with different people, you need to ask yourself – what is the common denominator? It might just be you.
Based on the answers I provided on the Myer’s- Briggs survey, my personality type is INFJ – Introvert, Intuition, Feeling, Judging. According to this survey, “INFJ’s are often quiet observers of people and the human condition. They have an ability to capture the essence of an interaction, a people situation, and to be aware of the timeless qualities of the human condition.”
When I read this I was like YASSSSS that’s me!!! But here’s the struggle, when I sense that someone is not authentic, insincere, patronizing, negative, mean-spirited, haughty in spirit, just to name a few, I have a tendency to distance myself from them. I tend to do this because I’m really uncomfortable with as the elders use to say ‘putting on airs.’ In other words, being fake. I find it extremely difficult to deal with people who ‘I feel’ are not authentic. Now don’t get me wrong, everyone has a bad day or a bad season. I’m thinking in terms of general character. I would venture to say everyone has the ability to identify these traits in others. For me, it seems that I’m ‘extra’ sensitive to them. It’s a burden because I don’t know what to do with the feelings. I don’t know if it’s discernment or ‘my extra.’ What I do know is that distancing myself is probably not the best way to respond when you are a Pastor’s wife.
In general, I take people as is because I would want the same courtesy. I truly believe that all people are good- we just do bad things sometimes. To quote Joyce Meyers “Don’t confuse the who with the do.” Or, perhaps in some cases, people are products of their experiences which dictates how they interact with the world. The world can be harsh.
I believe most people, including myself, want to have healthy, mutually satisfying, respectful, and supportive relationships. I heard someone say, if you have one ‘true’ relationship you are fortunate. If you have two ‘true’ relationships you are blessed. When it comes to relationships I have two main prayers – GOD, please help me to distinguish between YOUR gift of discernment and ‘my extra’ and help me be a person that I would want to be in relationship with.
FINAL WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT 1 Kings 3:11 (KJV) And God said to him, “Because you have asked this, and have not asked for yourself long life or riches or the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is right,
Check yourself before you blame others
Be Encouraged! Be Blessed!
this Pastor’s Wife