Will I Ever Catch Up?

I’m still trying to figure out this Pastor’s wife assignment. Let’s be honest, there are days I struggle with being a Christian. In May 2011 when my dad was laid to rest, I had to come to grips with the fact that I was really an adult- what a rude awakening.

Here’s the thing, I don’t think my personality is suited for being a Pastor’s wife. I’m not a people person – whatever that is. I’m an introvert who is most comfortable with being home with my husband and dog. Crowds drain me. There are days when I wish I could take a vacation from myself!

Being a part of my husband’s vision and calling to pastor a grassroots ministry has been tough but fulfilling. With anything in this life, there have been ups and downs. For me, the ‘ups’ have been witnessing the individual growth of our faithful few – I love them all.

Please understand grassroots ministry is NOT – I repeat – is NOT for the young in faith. This is why I believe with all that I have and all that is in me that my husband is a true FAITH WARRIOR. If you haven’t guessed, I am a fan of my husband. Since the birth of the ministry in 2006, John’s faith has never wavered. In the face of low attendance, broken commitments, members coming and going, health challenges etc., his faith continues to stand strong. John’s response is always – this is God’s business and I will press forward in obedience, stay the course until HE says it’s done. I can’t say the same for my faith. One of my many prayers is that God helps my unbelief and that my faith does not fail. The Word says in Matthew 17:20 (NIV) “He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’He said that you need only to have faith the size of a mustard seed.”

Well God, I am encouraged because a ‘mustard seed’ faith is about all I have.

As I continue on this path of learning and growing into my assignment of being this Pastor’s wife, I have embraced the fact that this Christian journey is a faith walk. There are days when I feel as though I am so far behind that I often ask – ‘Will I ever catch up?’ But one thing I know for sure, God knows who you are, where you are and what you were designed to do.

Final Word of Encouragement – Ecclesiastes 9:11 (NIV) ‘I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift  or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.’’

I may be pulling up the rear but I am proud to say, I AM IN THE RACE!

Be Encouraged! Be Blessed!

This Pastor’s Wife